It's been a while since I've written about any particular restaurant I've visited, any particular meal I've enjoyed, any particular experience that stood out for me from the culinary realm. And I can't count the pieces written about the holidays, for they weren't quite current; I wish I had written them during the first weeks of January instead of getting caught in so many outings that the excitement, the taste of the experience bedraggled.
In the past month, I've visited over a handful of excellent restaurants, enjoyed many meals and cocktails, and can remember every moment of every single experience from the ways the servers moved around rooms to the way barkeeps would shake a cocktail to the way hosts and hostesses walked when they escorted us to our table in their restaurant - not to mention the meals and beverages, themselves. I ask myself, critically, why I do not write about these moments, why I do not pour out these experiences, why I do not express to my readers the tales of my natural observations when I can visualize them so perfectly.
I know why, beneath the self-criticism and pressure and hesitance: The moments were not perfect, to me.
It is easy to find writers who live in and write of perfect extravagance and luxury, who paint the perfect picture of the perfect meal in the perfect restaurant, setting a standard for the world of how things should be; or those whose writings are of the opposite: a mediocre meal prepared by a mediocre chef in a mediocre restaurant, in which writers protect the palates of so many readers.
I have given myself a mandate that I will not write of the mediocre, that I will not give press to those meals and restaurants that do not earn and therefore deserve praise, unless some other feature of the experience overshadows the weakness.
But, in expecting to write only of perfect moments, I wonder if I have cut off the truth of my imperfect experiences, if I am portraying the superficial perfection that so many of us expect and seek for based on brainwashing of the superficial -- instead of highlighting my true experiences, both perfect and imperfect, amidst otherwise-perfect restaurants and otherwise-succulent meals. I wonder if I am enticing others to ignore and live with their imperfect moments or to strive for impossible experiences that have more to do with something they read than with reality. I would rather enlighten you to pay attention to and learn from every detail of my experiences, both non-culinary temptations and the surrounding culinary delights that may or may not have, like Guillermo del Toro's heroine Ofelia in Pan's Labyrinth, captured my attention despite obvious emotional dangers.
It is not food nor drink that makes a moment perfect; not two dozen long-stemmed roses or an expensive gift that makes a significant romance of an evening - yet we are, so many of us, tempted to believe in these things as the substance of our lives.
It is our passion for a thing, for whatever reasons that passion exists; it is our love for chefs and their creations (as in my life), for the unspoken words and gentility expressed in a thoughtful and meaningful gift, for the conversation and connection between ourselves and those around us based in and on mutual love and passions.
For all of my temptations, for all of my love of food and beverages and chefs and things culinary, do not be persuaded to believe that it is the thing itself that is of value. If you are drawn into my tales, be so drawn in by my passion and love for life, by my openness to the moments I experience and by my willingness to share them with you, the world, in the hope that you may open yourselves to the chefs and restaurants and experiences I enjoy - or that you may find yourself open to anything else in life that may call to your heart.
This is my wish for every one of my readers, whether you ever read this post or not. My wish for you is truth in every moment, whether it is perfect or not, and love enough for your heart that you find and indulge all that you love, all that you can love naturally, and learn to love more thoroughly and deeply.
With that, I shall write of imperfect moments and meals for the next few posts.
Forgive me my failings, and I hope you can cherish my truths.
Featured image from Pan's Labyrinth found on http://lefthandhorror.com/2012/06/03/pans-labyrinth-2006-movie-review/
